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30% Comedy, 40% Code, 99% Satire

Drunk Dev Opens Up About Experimenting In College

some stories don't need to be told

Opinion - 2026-04-27

2 men laughing at a bar. Presumably someone put 'Never Gonna Give You Up' on the jukebox again.

Local developer Ari Pierce spent the evening at a bar with friends. After drinks, and darts, and even more drinks, Pierce blurted out a story he had been holding in for years. It just slipped out. He didn't mean to drop such a heavy, personal story on a fun Thursday night out. But what happened, happened.

"You know, when I was in college I experimented a little. Everyone knew what they wanted, and I just had no idea. My friend Steve, you remember Steve right? He and his husband were out here last summer. Anyway, Steve said I needed to find myself. I needed to get out there and out of my comfort zone. So one night I tried something I had been thinking about for, well, for a long time. And I kinda liked it. It was a one night thing. I always wanted to do it again, but right after that finals started, then graduation, then work. Sometimes I still think about that night. PHP was just so easy to get started with. Server-side scripting done right, I say. No, I can't live like this anymore! I'm done being a TypeScript developer. It just isn't me. It's great for other people, but it's not who I am. From now on, I'm a PHP developer. And I'm proud of it."

After exclaiming his career change, Pierce left the bar to start a side project in PHP. He quit his job the next day. If you're hiring for any PHP developers, let him know you have a position available. His husband is not happy with the sudden change.