In a post to Twitter, sometimes called X, Elon Musk wrote about the goblins plaguing Tesla cars. "Anytime self driving mode fails, you can't enable the A/C, or the black box vanishes after a crash, it's goblins. They're causing havoc and I alone can see them. But I'm powerless to stop them."
The goblins are described as mostly bald, with gray skin, large eyes, pointy ears, and 1.2 meters tall ("short king" in feet). To illustrate, Musk posted a hand drawn picture that looks exactly like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Musk says there are hundreds in the Tesla offices, dozens in his various homes, and each Tesla vehicle has 1 or 2 that like to hide in the trunk and the frunk.
At one point Musk goes on a tangent about the Cybertruck. The initial design looked like a normal truck, instead of, well, you know. But somehow the design team received an email from Musk forcing them to change the design to what we now know the Cybertruck to be. This too was blamed on the goblins, and not a late night bender.
In an interview, Musk stated he hired pest control to exterminate the goblins at his home in Texas. The exterminators sprayed twice, and Musk was able to see them all die in agony. "Their screams gave me a a relief the best medical drugs can't do anymore. Like ketamine, or something like it." But the next day a new group of goblins moved in to cause chaos. He will soon be adding traps to his home to stop any new goblins from making their way inside. Polymarket currently has the odds of Musk dying to one of his own traps before the end of the year, at 27%.
When asked why no one else is able to see the goblins, Musk exclaimed, "Goblin Magic! It's goblin magic I say! The goblins are using magic! I hate goblin magic!" as he jumped up and down furiously.