The globalGlob(**/*) office had a heated debate around programming languages. After resorting to combat with Nerf guns, rubber knives, and friendly molotov cocktails, we decided to calm down, go to our separate corners, and write our fact-based opinions for all to see. To keep things fair, we wrote them up in the universally accepted format for listing pros/cons, the Fuck/Marry/Kill list. Below is what each person believes, down to their core being.
Clara Hala
Fuck: C# It gets faster and increases throughput every year.
Marry: C++ Much more mature than in the past. A decent one to settle with, as long as you don't bring up the past.
Kill: C "That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die." But C should die now.
Kory Archimedes
Fuck: Rust My friends won't shut up about it and I have to know what all the fuss is about.
Marry: Python It's very popular, and I care about status.
Kill: Ruby Too opinionated. I'm tired of all the opinions.
Francis Anand
Fuck: SQL Relational. I have a kink.
Marry: PowerShell Whatever. I'm in my 40s. I'll take anyone at this point.
Kill: Bash PowerShell is cross-platform now. Just use that for everything.
The closest the globalGlob(**/*) staff could get to consensus
Fuck: Java Older, but it knows stuff.
Marry: TypeScript If things don't work out between us, we'll just give up but stay in the relationship. You know, make every type an 'any'.
Kill: CoffeScript No one will miss it. No one.