Reports indicate the software SaaS company Pyrple has informed the office dog, Mr Ruffles, to skill up on A.I. software development or be let go from the company. No more free head pats from the team to celebrate a job well done, or all-you-can-eat doggie treats in the break room.
We spoke with a few people at the company to talk about the new stance on office dogs, "We're all rooting for Mr Ruffles. He only has until the end of Q2 to become a productive member of the team, but we all believe in him. His paws make it hard to type, but we see the hard work he's putting in and think he can work past it. Maybe HR can get him a dog specific keyboard."
Some members of the organization are glad he finally has to, "pull his own weight, even if it's only 24 pounds (900 ounces)." But the silent minority is staying silent on the matter, just in case Mr Ruffles succeeds. Though one co-worker was too eager to tell us, "Dogs have no place here. There are rules. This is software development, not basketball."
When asked for comment, Mr Ruffles told us, "Ruff! Rrrruf woof boof," which we believe translates to, "I really need this. My wife, Princess, just gave birth to a litter of 9 puppies. That's a lot of mouths to feed. Now can you please pet my head, I've been a really good boy." Editor's note: he was!