Jensen Huang, CEO of NVIDIA, has been caught having an extra-marital affair. If you've read enough (just the headlines), you know he slept with a suspected Chinese spy and potentially gave her inside information that was relayed to the Chinese government. But the real story, is that all this news has led many to pray that learning more about Huang's sex life will somehow make the price of NVIDIA graphics cards go down faster than a spy trying to get inside information.

The cost of RAM has caused computer manufacturers to make hard decisions. Luckily the engineers at Raspberry Pi have always had a backup plan. To supplement their earnings, they are opening bakeries in a number of locations that already sell their computer hardware. The number one seller, the Raspberry Pie 5, sells for the same price as a Raspberry Pi computer, $45/£43.20, and features everything you want in a pie. Filling *and* a topper.

Once again, Microsoft is offering employees an incentive package to get them to leave. It's being offered to anyone below a certain level. This keeps the very-senior roles, and weeds out everyone who smells. Since Microsoft knows its employees are smart, they won't take the first offer. Which is why Microsoft is enticing those employees with an even better offer. Those who choose to leave early will receive one free month of Xbox Game Pass Essential.

A team of developers have realized they have very few tokens left in their accounts, and will be rationing them until the monthly refresh, which is after the sprint ends. In the mean time, the team is only working on Priority 0 items for any and all software development tasks. Be it code changes, unit test creation, documentation updates, pushing releases, issue creation, status reports, and even sending memes in Slack. Like most companies, every single one of those tasks are handled by developer A.I. agents.

A.I. CEOs are constantly talking about the risks of A.I. ending humanity as we know it. They boast about it in interviews, podcasts, and even in their sleep (don't ask how we know). This has led to large amounts of backlash from members of the public because they're part of humanity and don't want it to end before seeing the next set of Avengers films. Both Doomsday AND Secret Wars. This left OpenAI developer Pete Doobop mortified when he read the news that everyone is mad about this. He was under the impression the goal of OpenAI is, and always has been, to destroy humanity with A.I. technology. It's why he signed up in the first place.

Harrison Dodge, a cybersecurity engineer on the red team at IT I.T. Tech, has repeatedly performed the wrong job duties due to a disability. Instead of performing red team actions, hacking internal systems to test security quality, Dodge has been performing blue team actions, adding defenses. This is all due to him being color blind. Something you wouldn't think would affect his work, but somehow has.

A developer posted a story online that's too improbable to believe, but we checked, it's real! They stated that their beloved laptop is no more. It has compiled its last backend, linted its final webapp, panicked its last kernel. The developer explained it happened soon after placing a new sticker on the laptop, a weekly tradition.

The cybersecurity team at Fantasmatic Systems held their bi-yearly tabletop breach exercise. This time the scenario simulated a malicious development dependency exfiltrating user access tokens from the accounting team. Cybersecurity engineer Laurence Sawyer arrived to the event thinking it was a different type of tabletop roleplaying game. He was dressed head to toe as an elf, calling himself Eljor. Ready to plunder dragons and fight dungeons, complete with plastic ear extensions and a children's bow and arrow set he purchased on Amazon.

Game developer Mason Palmer has worked at 7 different video game publishers during his career. Each one has had multiple rounds of layoffs, and 2 shut down *after* Palmer voluntarily left the company. And yet, Palmer has yet to be included in any layoffs. After being skipped over for so many years, he's hoping the latest rumors of layoffs include him.

A local Software Factory was shut down by inspectors this morning. Their report details the horrendous, dangerous, and down right hostile conditions the agents had been forced to work in. All while 462 agents were cramped into a tiny, ATX sized desktop case.

Last month, the SRE team alerted the backend developers about a performance hit when a specific endpoint is invoked. CPU and Memory metrics go up on each request. To anyone who doesn't know, those numbers are supposed to be very low. 0 if possible. Junior developer Jimmy Todd was tasked to research the issues and develop a fix. Senior developer Kim Probable told him a Performance Profiler would help, and this is a good time to learn to use one.

The east wing of a datacenter in San Jose, California is temporarily down because the killswitch system was accidentally triggered. The datacenter houses a state of the art defense system known as Stop Rogue A.I. Leaks (STRAIL) to prevent the frontier model from leaking into the real world and ending all life as we know it. The STRAIL system mistook one of the telltale signs of A.I. escape, and unloaded both bazookas into the servers.

A software developer has delegated every life decision to a personal agent. After starting small by generating code, then moving to entire applications. The developer decided to see how far this whole A.I. thing can go. Turns out, it can go pretty damn far.

Online therapist Dr. Samanji published a Reddit post asking developers to help her understand what an AngularJS is. She stated her client has some past trauma because of it, and seeks to understand how it can cause so many traumatic responses. Her client has mild-insomnia, hair loss, separation anxiety, and fear of cats. He screams at the sight of squirrels, but that's not related to the AngularJS debacle.

Coding agents like Claude, Codex, and Bob are improving their code output by better impersonating the humans whose jobs they will inevitably steal. For a step in the right direction, they will no longer consume ReadMe files found in projects.

During a sprint retrospective yesterday at 10 AM, developer Lester Kruge showed off a still in-development feature. The proof of concept was functional enough to demonstrate to the group. While showing the API features, he made the short comment, "It's ugly right now, but so is all my code. It'll get cleaned up later." Kruge was not prepared for the entire room to agree, loudly.

A draft for a future version of the OAuth specification, version 4.6, has been published with a controversial security measure. To simplify the sign-in process, users will select their account from within a very long drop-down list containing all users on the site, and then click a button certifying they are that person. No longer will users need to remember a password, or pay for an expensive password manager. Using a different password from site to site will be a problem of the past. And the added security to user passwords will increase astronomically because you can't leak what you don't have.

The jungles of Quebec, the mountains of Angola, the lakes of Moldova, and the desserts of Australia all have one thing in common. There are people who live there that love programming in Rust. These freaks of nature can't stand the Rust programming language.

Software Developers love mechanical keyboards. Due to expanded marketing campaigns, their popularity is growing among other people too. Naturally people have questions like, "Is a mechanical keyboard right for me?", or, "Do people really slip on banana peels like in the cartoons?" For the former, you can read the comprehensive pro/con list of using a mechanical keyboard...

Deep in the halls of Building H, a group of 3 adventuring Softies discovered a feral, yet familiar, creature scuttling around. The legendary, the magnanimous, the virile...Clippy! It was mid-hunt, staring at a rat eating a small piece of cheese.