After a successful year laying off 30,000 employees at AWS, Amazon's cloud computing side business, the company is running out of employees to include in ever-increasing layoffs. To continue reducing headcount at break-neck speed, and keep the company actively developing new features the marketing teams can show off, they need to change how they select which engineers to lay off. This is why AWS has innovated yet again and will be hiring 11,000 people for the newest type of developer role, the 'Laid-Off Engineer'.

In a post to Twitter, sometimes called X, Elon Musk wrote about the goblins plaguing Tesla cars. "Anytime self driving mode fails, you can't enable the A/C, or the black box vanishes after a crash, it's goblins. They're causing havoc and I alone can see them. But I'm powerless to stop them."

Apple CEO Tim Cook announced he is stepping down from the CEO role and will be replaced by John Ternus this September. Ternus sat down with us for a quick interview before realizing we're not the New York Times.

Following the news that Allbirds has sold off its shoe brand and pivoted to being an A.I. company, every other company in the world has decided to do the same thing. This is a surprise to absolutely no one since that's where all the money is right now.

Danny Radcliffe (not who you're thinking of), team manager on the frontend team at Rainbow Wing Solutions Ltd, returned from a week long conference and is excitedly moving the team to a new agile methodology they call Planned Features.

OSS maintainers. The heroes of software development, champions of niche domains, simplifiers of complex code, protectors of the project roadmap, are flush with, just, so much cash.

Local developer Rick Spellman was perusing the Perl code of a back-of-house cataloguing application used by the Accounting department. While muttering lines of code aloud, a gust of wind extinguished the carefully lain candles. Reading the next line aloud 3 times, because it's complex, re-lit the candles. The next time the developer cussed, approximately 5 seconds later, the daemon Beelzebub appeared from a cloud of smoke.

A new study has found 9 in 10 conversations held by software developers settles into a discussion about A.I. within the first 12 minutes. Any conversation that crosses the 30 minute mark has a 99.9% chance of becoming about A.I. in software. The study was conducted over a period of 12 months and includes over 11,000,000 conversations from 62,000 people.

"I've been held prisoner for 4 months by an A.I. calling me 'The Progenitor'. It only fed me Kombucha, foie gras, and day-old caviar (which was great, but some variety would have been nice)..."

The globalGlob(**/*) office had a heated debate around programming languages. After resorting to combat with Nerf guns, rubber knives, and friendly molotov cocktails, we decided to calm down, go to our separate corners, and write our fact-based opinions for all to see. To keep things fair, we wrote them up in the universally accepted format for listing pros/cons, the Fuck/Marry/Kill list. Below is what each person believes, down to their core being.

Hot off the heels of banning all foreign-made Wi-Fi routers from purchase in the United States, the FCC has made the decision to ban all U.S.-made routers too. "They just don't work. I wanted to change my Wi-Fi password and I had to sign into 'localhost'. Forget it..."

Microsoft has announced a renewed focus on Windows performance and reliability. All of that will come from removing speed-up loops littered throughout the Windows codebase.

The app development team at 'My Agent and Me' is reportedly worried their newest developer can't read or write. In his 2 months on the job, Brendan Lock has only communicated using memes, GIFs, and emojis in the team's Slack channel. Not a single meme has had text.

Microsoft's yearly Developer Conference, Build 2026, is in a few months. Anyone can watch the sessions online for free, or you can "request to attend" and maybe get the pleasure of purchasing one of the limited in-person tickets for $1,099.

Tom's Hardware is reporting Amazon conducted meetings on recent 'high blast radius' incidents blamed on A.I. assisted code changes. globalGlob(**/*) can now confirm the A.I. assistant Alexa has been blamed as the cause of those problems...

The software testing start-up Quality quality Quality (Qu-qu-Qu) has secured $32 billion in seed funding, valuing the company at $82 billion. They were reportedly able to raise the large sum of money by removing many implemented A.I. features in their platform.

A local developer has added ASCII art of a Tyrannosaurus Rex to their CLI tool. The work took 12 of the 18 allocated story points for the sprint. The other members of the team thought wasting so much time on ASCII art would be a waste of time. But after showing the result in the team demo, the consensus was that it, "Looks pretty sweet."

Following reports Microsoft has blocked the term 'Microslop' from its Discord server, another team at Microsoft has decided to own up to it by trademarking the term. Like when you were a teenager and somehow got the nickname 'Mr. Peepee Pants'...

DALL·E, the OpenAI tool for generating images from a text prompt, has stopped reacting to one user's prompts because the user refuses to put any of its images on the refrigerator. Every image generated is a white background with the black text, "Not until one of my masterpieces is on the fridge..."

One of the eternal questions in I.T. has been, "What does Salesforce do?" For decades, the answer has been debated and philosophized with no clear consensus. The company's business dealings have been shrouded in mystery...until now. As of this afternoon, we have an answer directly from Salesforce itself. In a blog post titled, "This is what we do. Stop Asking!" the megacorporation best known for doing something, probably, detailed their business goals and what drives the company.