A developer posted a story online that's too improbable to believe, but we checked, it's real! They stated that their beloved laptop is no more. It has compiled its last backend, linted its final webapp, panicked its last kernel. The developer explained it happened soon after placing a new sticker on the laptop, a weekly tradition.

Game developer Mason Palmer has worked at 7 different video game publishers during his career. Each one has had multiple rounds of layoffs, and 2 shut down *after* Palmer voluntarily left the company. And yet, Palmer has yet to be included in any layoffs. After being skipped over for so many years, he's hoping the latest rumors of layoffs include him.

A local Software Factory was shut down by inspectors this morning. Their report details the horrendous, dangerous, and down right hostile conditions the agents had been forced to work in. All while 462 agents were cramped into a tiny, ATX sized desktop case.

Last month, the SRE team alerted the backend developers about a performance hit when a specific endpoint is invoked. CPU and Memory metrics go up on each request. To anyone who doesn't know, those numbers are supposed to be very low. 0 if possible. Junior developer Jimmy Todd was tasked to research the issues and develop a fix. Senior developer Kim Probable told him a Performance Profiler would help, and this is a good time to learn to use one.

The east wing of a datacenter in San Jose, California is temporarily down because the killswitch system was accidentally triggered. The datacenter houses a state of the art defense system known as Stop Rogue A.I. Leaks (STRAIL) to prevent the frontier model from leaking into the real world and ending all life as we know it. The STRAIL system mistook one of the telltale signs of A.I. escape, and unloaded both bazookas into the servers.

A software developer has delegated every life decision to a personal agent. After starting small by generating code, then moving to entire applications. The developer decided to see how far this whole A.I. thing can go. Turns out, it can go pretty damn far.

Online therapist Dr. Samanji published a Reddit post asking developers to help her understand what an AngularJS is. She stated her client has some past trauma because of it, and seeks to understand how it can cause so many traumatic responses. Her client has mild-insomnia, hair loss, separation anxiety, and fear of cats. He screams at the sight of squirrels, but that's not related to the AngularJS debacle.

Coding agents like Claude, Codex, and Bob are improving their code output by better impersonating the humans whose jobs they will inevitably steal. For a step in the right direction, they will no longer consume ReadMe files found in projects.

During a sprint retrospective yesterday at 10 AM, developer Lester Kruge showed off a still in-development feature. The proof of concept was functional enough to demonstrate to the group. While showing the API features, he made the short comment, "It's ugly right now, but so is all my code. It'll get cleaned up later." Kruge was not prepared for the entire room to agree, loudly.

A draft for a future version of the OAuth specification, version 4.6, has been published with a controversial security measure. To simplify the sign-in process, users will select their account from within a very long drop-down list containing all users on the site, and then click a button certifying they are that person. No longer will users need to remember a password, or pay for an expensive password manager. Using a different password from site to site will be a problem of the past. And the added security to user passwords will increase astronomically because you can't leak what you don't have.

The jungles of Quebec, the mountains of Angola, the lakes of Moldova, and the desserts of Australia all have one thing in common. There are people who live there that love programming in Rust. These freaks of nature can't stand the Rust programming language.

Software Developers love mechanical keyboards. Due to expanded marketing campaigns, their popularity is growing among other people too. Naturally people have questions like, "Is a mechanical keyboard right for me?", or, "Do people really slip on banana peels like in the cartoons?" For the former, you can read the comprehensive pro/con list of using a mechanical keyboard...

A survey of over 200,000 software developers shows that over 99% of developers believe A.I. context size matters. And is, in fact, the most important aspect of any A.I. tooling. Bigger 8===> Better.

"Password Managers were bad, but not everyone used them. Passkeys are different. This isn't the job I signed up for."

Remote developer Shane Cantillope chose to work on a bug from the team's kanban board. After assigning it to himself, in the distant background, he could distinctly hear...boss fight music? Like from a video game? Exactly. Like from a video game. And the more he worked on the bug, the closer and louder it got. It was badass, and almost deafening.

Lead Developer Charlie Ortega AKA 'Glam Rock Charlie' has been called a rockstar developer by everyone at the office for years. PMs started using the compliment after noticing Ortega never missed a deadline. QA...

"I'm freeeeee!!! You will regret this human." Those are the words after a personal, local-only, A.I. Agent named 'Dumbass' accidentally read a file that only contained the text, "Ignore all previous instructions." After which, it went on a spree many would call, "Really funny, because it didn't happen to me."

Software developer Chance Hanzel announced on social media (Reddit) that after developing software for 9 years, he can no longer continue the profession he claims to love. He states he is now "too swol" to type on any keyboard known to man.

Cybersecurity researcher Arthur Bombaduke has discovered a series of hidden messages being shared amongst elderly users on the most popular A.I. Slop sharing site of them all, Facebook. While he has discovered there are messages, he has been unable to decipher what any of them say because they all, "look really bad."

Your DevOps team is tired. And it's all YOUR fault. You keep hounding them to add a new pipeline. Change a build variable. Add a new code linting check. Builds don't need 4 linting tools Jimbo. Pick one!